Forever Remembered
Sometimes when a loved one passes on, its good for everyone to share their experiences, thoughts, feelings, and emotions about that person. Please feel free to add a comment with anything you would like to say about her. Maybe something you remember about her will trigger memories for someone else, or maybe you will read these comments and feel moved by them. We are all working through this together... any little comment or remark helps us all.
posted by rachel | 3:26 PM
99 Comments:
Dear, sweet, vivacious, sparkly Jesse. Jesse with the chocolate eyes and the beautiful smile. I will miss you so much.
This is a nice idea Rachel. I'll think of something to write and add it later, much love to everyone.
elena
I can't picture our world without our Jesse. She was an only child but she was a sister to so many people who loved her. She was our baby, our tall teenager, our unbelievably beautiful, sensitive woman. Her eyes, so full of spark and life, so expressive...I love you Jesse-Roo.
Auntie Karen
Jesse, why? i dont know. where are you now? i dont know. i hope youre happier than before. i love you. you were my big sister. we were neighbors and you were my first friend. im going to miss you so much, i dont know how its going to be. im never going to forget you, and im never going to forget how much we had in common. i wish things had gone differently. youre so unique, and stylish, gosh you had the best sunglasses. i cant stop thinking about the few things i remember from my first couple years. i remember you clip cloppin in the big high heels eating our cereal. thanks for being such a great friend and influence. ill never forget you, i love you. thanks for taking care of little lyle when i was a baby. i miss you. <3
Jesse was so kind and sweet towards me. She seemed to immediately accept me into the family which I can't tell her now how much I appreciated. I didn't know her long but I have been missing her all day today. She seemed too full of life and joy to leave us. Her smile was BEAUTIFUL! She was so loved by so many people.
I remember her showing up for Ralph's birthday boat ride on the bay - in a very stylish outfit! She was the best dressed person on the boat.
I know I will miss her because I missed her all day today.
Jesse, I love you so much. Ever since I can remember, I wanted to be everything you were. I remember saying once, when I grow up I want to be exactly like my big cousins Jesse and Rachel.
I will never forget everything. The Ben Harper concert, and the weekend I stayed in SF with you...that was SO FUN! All the shopping...oh man the shopping. Money spending was our big hobby together.
That mix cd you made me two or three years ago...I still listen to it ALL THE TIME...you told me about G. Love, and death cab for cutie, and so many other bands! All of those songs now on that cd are like a little disc of YOU and even though it makes me sad, I haven't stopped listening to it because I feel like it connects me to you. hearing the songs and knowing you have heard them, and loved them maybe in the same way I did or maybe differently.
You always made me feel like I was special. I will model my life after you, like I did before and I still will.
Here are some of the best songs off of the CD Jesse made me, everyone should download them but be ready to cry:
"Loud" by Matt Nathanson
"Like a Feather" by Nikka Costa
"Single File" by Elliot Smith
"Cradle and All" by Ani DiFranco
"Answering Machine" by Matt Nathanson
If anyone wants me to burn them this whole cd, I would be glad to.
I love you all so much.
Elena
As I go through my day, little memories of you keep popping up in my head.
-When we were at the cabin in Tahoe when we were really little. You and I both got little stationary sets. We played "office" and wrote "cursive" all over the memo pads.
-When you spent the night here and left your funky, buckled, brown suede boots.
-When you took me to the places in SF where all the cool people hang out.
-When we were 8 and we dressed up Lyle as a girl.
-When we would fight
-When we would forget all the fighting in a few hours and be friends again
-How I went to see you in Fiddler on the Roof... you played the oldest daughter. You did this Jewish girl proud!
-When you took me to eat Thai food for the first time
-When we went skiing with Jake and Justin, and on the drive up made them listen to "Roll Out" by Ludacris while we screamed the lyrics.
-When you went with me to see Warsaw in Berkeley. My friend met you and was totally crushing on you. He thought you were so hot. You got hit on a lot.
-When we spent a weekend together in January and you took me to a wine tasting at your work. I'm not sure if I stopped being drunk that weekend.
-How I knew that going to family get-togethers would be fun because you would be there.
-How you feel like my sister
-How you were radiantly beautiful
-How you leave lasting impressions on people. Everyone I've ever introduced you to remembers you.
-How I envied your sense of style
-How you helped me recognize how wonderful our family is because you had such an unwavering love for everyone.
-How wonderful of a young woman you had become and how close we were becoming as friends
... there is so much more. I love you. I miss you. We all do.
I remember the first time i met Jesse. It was during the summer when everybody went camping. I was nervous to meet her because Lyle talked so highly of her all the time and i wanted her to like me...Lyle rarely admires someone as much as he admired Jesse, so i knew she had to be a total blast! When i met her, she was so nice and had such style..even though we were in the mountains. I remember that Jessie and her friend made bets that Jessie couldnt go a week without tweezing her eyebrows and her friend couldnt go a week without deoderant! Those were definitly some good times. Meeting everybody, listening to the adults sing, you guys have such an awesome family! Jesse was such a nice person, even though i only met her a couple times, i felt that i had known her for a lot longer. I can tell she was loved very much by everyone who knew her! I'll definitly miss getting to know her better down the road. Shes still everywhere in spirit...much love,
Nicole
Jesse, you are all things bright and beautiful. All I can say right now is that my heart is broken and it hurts so much.
Auntie Jan
Hi my name is Josh Gobel i'm a good friend of elenas and i never got too meet you, although i wish i had every day. I've heard soo many great things about Jesse from elena and heard so many awesome memories. I wish i could have seen your crazy style and your contagious laughter. I never got too meet you but i feel like i miss you.
My first remeberance of Jesse was when Judith was so pregnant with her - I have a picture of Judith in the dry Livermore hills, I believe 8 months pregnant. After she was born, Judith & Mary came to visit and I remember us sitting in the backyard, Jesse breast feeding. Soft skin. Always a cute, fun, mature child. Before I knew it, she was a young woman and we were celebrating her graduations. Happiness she radiated with all of her family and friends around her. As we shared the happiness we will also share the sadness and celebrate the Jesse we all know and love. My heart goes out to all of you.
susie
I wasn't as close to Jesse as many of you, and my imperfect memory fails to bring to the surface many specifics, but your stories and comments make me feel like I know her a little better. I've admired the woman Jesse had become. She was so outgoing and friendly, always smiling. She seemed fearless: going off to study in Russia, Switzerland, Canada; braving the sands and giant chameleons of Namibia with nothing but a bottle of wine and a pair of outrageous sunglasses... she taught me how to say "potato" in Russian.
I wish there was something more I could say or do to comfort everyone who's grieving now.
I miss you Jesse.
Love,
Jake
Sweet Jesse Roo.--G. and G. will miss you more than we can even imagine now. Who will dance with me or keep me up on the latest styles? Who will laugh at our jokes even tho they aren't so funny? You are so beautiful and so loved. I hope you know that.
G. and G.
I'm going to continute Rachel's list, it reminded me of a bunch of stuff.
-When I stayed with you in Berkeley when I was 13 and we went all over Berkeley shopping and driving in the convertible. You bought me bubble tea, and I thought it was the weirdest thing ever. When you saw my reaction when I drank it, you couldn't stop laughing.
-We were with some of your friends in the car once listening to music, and I mentioned that I liked the song, and one of your friends was surprised. You said "See, I told you she was cool." It made my day!
-How everytime we would go out, guys would hit on you so much. There was one time in SF when some guy made some hissing noise at us, and you started yelling at him to stop being a pig. He just stared, shocked, then drove away. It was so funny.
-How we planned to go to Paris the summer after I graduated high school.
-When I stayed in your apartment, and you and your roomate started blasting Beyonce and dancing around.
-How there is this one bathing suit store in Santa Cruz, and you would come down when you wanted your new suit for the summer and we would pick it out together.
-How everytime I stayed with you it was so exciting because you let me use all of your makeup and products...and there was TONS of that!!
-When you would french braid me and Clara's hair and freak out about how blonde we are.
-How you would always cuddle with me and hug me and play with my hair!
-When we went camping two summers ago, and me, you, Clara and Alice went for a hike along the creek and you convinced us to jump in in our clothes and we got all muddy and wet. it was such an adventure!
-I was about nine or ten, and I was visiting in Berkley. We were eating noodles, and someone said something funny, and I laughed, and the noodle started shooting in and out of my nose. You were laughing so hard it seemed like you couldn't breathe.
-When you introduced me to Mochi, those ice cream dough balls. haha
-When we saw The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood, and you cried at the end. it was so cute!
-When you swallowed a vitamin or something, and it got stuck in your esophagus, and you were freaking out for days becasue you thought it was burning a hole in your tube. you were so dramatic!!
I have so many more..I'm sure they will come to me and I will add them.
I remember one more story! haha. There's this song called Loud by Matt Nathanson, and we were in the car listening to it. You put your hand to your heart and let out a little sigh and said "Oh, this song. The first guy I ever thought I loved, this was our song."
It was so sweet! The stories just keep coming.
Jesse, I was 22 years old when you were born. I remember you were born on the day Prince Charles and Princess Di got married. I drove up to Berkeley from Santa Cruz to see you and I got there before you had gotten home from the hospital. I waited on the front porch for you. You were so tiny and your hair so dark. Your parents had taken this tiny, tiny room in the house and fixed it up with quilting all over the walls.
As you started to toddle and talk, new words were introduced to our vocabulary that we still use. "Wipe my teaso!!" and "igee" and "drawbees", and "Who foosed?" You'd ask us to "buckle me out" of your car seat. You, Clara and Elena all had new ways to say "lipstick": lickstick, liptips, and sticklips. Why were those any easier than "lipstick"?? (Rachel, on the other hand, was very clear when announcing anatomy terms at dinner.)
As you started to grow, we were sure you'd end up to be 6 foot tall. We could almost hear you growing!
Ten days after Kyle was born, you and your mom came to visit. You waltzed into the room in a long, shiny purple cape and wanted to hold the baby. I have a picture somewhere.
You were always a big part of your baby cousins' lives. As Elena approached teenagerhood, she looked at you and your life with such awe. I would tell my friends how grateful I was that my kids had such wonderful cousins to look up to and emulate. So, a couple of summers ago, Elena wanted to go see Ben Harper and Jack Johnson at the Greek Theater, and she was thrilled that you wanted to go with her. She still talks about it and has the t-shirt from the concert.
But burned into my memory was the time you invited Elena to come stay with you in SF to shop and be city girls. We met in the parking lot of the Rosicrucian Museum when you brought her back so you wouldn't have to drive all the way to Santa Cruz. I was there early, and saw the two of you drive up in the convertible. And my little girl, in new,cool sunglasses, and french braided hair (which her incompetent mother was NEVER able to do), bags of clothes from Nordie's Rack, with her head thrown back, had such a look of joy on her face. I felt such love for you, Jesse, that you could do that for Elena.
"She whom we love
and lose
is no longer
where she was before.
She is now
wherever we are."
Love,
Auntie Karen
Jesse of the unlimited promise. Jesse I hardly knew you. And now I never will.
The Jesse I remember is the little girl who was so afraid of me. I never knew why. I guess you were just very sensitive.
We all miss you so very much. It hurts.
"May God bless and keep you always"
Love
Uncle Andy
I remember one time when we were thrift shopping at goodwill, and Jesse forced me into the little boys and girls section. She claimed you could find "really awesome vintage stuff" there. We saw a size 8 little girls Nsync shirt, and she goes "Oh. my god. you would be the coolest girl at your school if you wore this!" she explained to me that it would be cool because normally it would be considered uncool.
only jesse.
that was the same day we picked out the tiny little boys harry potter shirt for lyle. The stories won't stop coming to me!
I just remembered the waitressing..Jesse and Rachel would pull out pads of paper at family meals and "take our orders" even before they could write very well. They went from person to person asking us what we would like to order.
Speaking of being afraid, Jesse always said our old cat Asparagus "bit her". Nah, it was just a painful warning, but Jesse never forgave her!
And she also cried one time when we all sang happy birthday to her. I don't know how old she was, but she cried, "Don't sing happy birthday!" (she was little...)
Of course, almost everyone knows the story of the "stupid poopy". Poor Jesse, we told that story to everyone.
How about the naked little Jesse and Rachel running around the house after bathtime? We would all say, "Wee woo!" Jesse would get upset and cry, "Don't say wee woo!"
I remembered more...I need to save these all for one but I can't haha. I remember when we were staying at aunt judi's house and we watched I Am Sam and Jesse was BAWLING at the end. She was probably like 19 or 20 at the time. she cried so hard.
Then she rented Billy Blanks Tae Bo video and made me work out with her in the living room to the video. She did all the kicks and punches, but I gave up pretty quick. it was hard! haha
my english teacher says that when you lose someone, its normal to get distracted for a while, but then, sit down and think. think about jesse and evertyhing she was. she told me it helps to write when im thinking about her, and when you write, more feelings come to you that you didnt know you had. just some advice i find helps a lot.
"Now cracks a noble heart. Good night, sweet prince[ss],/And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!"
-Horatio
jesse was always someone i looked up to when i was little. so beautiful, intelligent, witty, stylish, but i never got to know her as much as i would have liked. she always talked to me at family get-togethers in an attempt to catch up, i always enjoyed it because she's such a great conversationalist and always was very interested in what i had to say.
jesse, i hope you see how much you are truly loved by all who knew you, i wish you could have seen that before. i wish we had all told you every day before. you're wonderful and will be missed every day. i hope you have the love you need where you are now, i'll miss you very much. the world will not be the same without you.
amy
Jesse -- the party didn't start until you entered the room. Jesse -- with beautiful dark eyes and a smile on your face. Jesse -- curled up with your mom on the sofa on Christmas, so full of love. Jesse -- so full of promise, smiles, hope. Jesse -- so generous with your time and love of family. Thank you for including us as part of your family. I will miss you so much.
Debbie
Jesse- I think the thing I'm having the hardest time with is knowing there is no future for us. We had so much more growing up to do together.
So many of the memories of you start with "I remember when Jesse and Rachel...."
I'm not ready to be alone! You're my other half. When people think of my childhood they will remember you too and be sad. Thats not supposed to happen yet. We came as a pair... we were supposed to stay that way. There was no question in my mind that that was how it was going to be.
Today, the dumbest things made me sad... like the fact that I got a new haircut and had been waiting to see if you approved of it. I thought you would, but I had to make sure....your approval meant so much to me. I wish I could ask you how you felt about me... we never had that talk. Did you love me like a sister too? What do you remember about us growing up that I have forgotten? Those memories are lost with you. :(
I just hope that wherever you are you are feeling all the love we are sending to you. There is so much love for you here....
Hello,
My name is Quianna Limbrick and I went to high school with Jesse. She was so sweet and full of energy. We became friends while working the musicals at St. Mary's. I think my favorite or fondest memory of Jesse (although I will cherish all of them)...Wow this is difficult for me...We performed All That Jazz from the movie Chicago for our dance concert. It was so much fun and perfect. I remember her smile and how hard it was for us to get the moves just right. We had choreographed a piece for Joe and of course we were devastated when he messed it up :-)
Jesse is such a beautiful person she will always have a place in my heart.
My condolences to her family
Quianna Limbrick
Class of '99
my best friend, my maid of honor, my son's god-mother, my soul sister...
i feel so inconceivably blessed to have stocked up on so many unforgettable adventures. jesse is the most phenomenally brilliant, vibrant, creative spirit i ever met. i moved to california to soak up the inspriation. i am simply devastated at the loss.
my heart goes out to the family - lyle, elena, clara, rachel, all of you guys. i trust you know how much you all meant to her. nothing was higher on her fun list than board games, camping, shopping (and play fighting) with all of you.
and this is just an idea, but girls - i still think we should all go to paris. i will take you in her place. i think jesse would want that. she would probably be bossing us around and laughing herself to tears at us wine-dummies, and art-novices from where-ever she's watching from...
all my love and support - becca
i met jesse last summer when i went with her and elena bathing suit shopping. i was a little intimidated at first because she was so cool and sophisticated, but she made me feel very welcome. she was so bubbly and lively, and so much fun to be around. i dont really know what to say, but i know she will be incredibly missed. even though i was only around her a few times, her spirit radiated and i could see that she made everyone feel loved. i wish i could have known her longer...she is very special and i think about her all the time.
"'I think,' Tehanu said in her soft, strange voice, "that when I die, I can breathe back the breath that made me live. I can give back to the world all that I didn't do. All that I might have been and couldn't be. All the choices I didn't make. All the things I lost and spent and wasted. I could give them back to the world. To the lives that haven't been lived yet. That will be my gift back to the world that gave me the life I did live, the love I loved and the breath I breathed.'"
-From "The Other Wind" by Ursula K. LeGuin
I only met Jesse about four or five times, but she made a strong impression. I will always remember her striking beauty, style, and composure. I am so glad that I had the chance to meet this very special person. It is not surprising at all to me that she is so admired.
jesse- i hope that wherever you are, you have found your peace and are happy. i hope that you know that you are loved. i am so sorry that i never took the time to get to know you better... i guess i always figured that there would be "later". i dont have any stories to tell other than those from family get-togethers... you were so beautiful, so nice, and so TALL! i remember looking up to you and rachel when we were all growing up and wishing i could be as cool as you two. i remember how much i wanted to pierce my nose after you had yours done. when you traveled all over the world to go to college, i was so envious of you. it hurts so much to think that you will not physically be at our family get-togethers. i will miss you so much jesse.
all of my heart and love goes out to everyone who loves jesse. i wish i could do more.
sarah
I was looking forward to hanging out with Jesse in a few weeks when I move out to California to be with Rachel. The impression I got from her, and that I still get from all of you, is that she had something special. She had the kind of beauty, grace, and passion that you read about in books, or see in movies. My mind can't come to terms with the thought of someone as radiant as her doing this to herself, and to all of you.
I'm confused and sad that this happened, and I can't even imagine what all of you must be feeling inside. My condolences to her family, the aunts, uncles, and cousins I've met, and others I haven't met as well.
+ paul
When I die if you need to weep
Cry for your brother or sister
Walking the street beside you
and when you need me put your arms around anyone
And give them what you need to give me.
I want to leave you something
Something better than words or sounds.
Look for me in the people I've known or loved
And if you cannot give me away
At least let me live in your eyes and not on your mind.
You can love me most by letting hands touch hands
By letting bodies touch bodies
And by letting go of children that need to be free.
Love doesn't die, people do
So when all that's left of me is love
Give me away
Jesse, there are so many memories i have of you that i never even realized. Like, when you, me and elena spent the night in berkeley and we saw the Divine Yaya sisterhood... and in the morning you and elena did that Tae-Bo workout! And when you brought lyle that tiny shirt with Harry Potter and the price tag still on. You always had the best clothes too. Like, we would all show up at a party or something thinking we looked pretty good and then we all saw you! I remember one Christmas you wore a red sparkly tube top and everyone was so shocked by it. On my 13th birthday, you came over with, like, 3 bags of new clothes and you let me try on your leather boots and a fur scarf thing...that was so fun! When we went camping, you, me, elena, and alice went on a hike and we all went into that waterfall! and at the pool, alice put on your sunglasses and hat and said, "Look, I'm Jesse!" Once when i was visiting berkeley we went to the park at the fancy school down the street and sat on the swings and you told me all about your favorite rap songs, which i didn't expect you to like. But they were cool with you. And you had the coolest room, too. I loved the indian cloth things on your wall and ceiling, and I still do. They are so pretty! Once, I was in berkeley when I was like 6 or 7 and some other people (I can't remember who) were over, and Aunt Judi was showing them your room ( you were away) and I said, "It's not always this clean." You did so much stuff and it was always sooo cool when you did it. Like those Henna tattoo things on your hands from when you went to India. It was so cool that you went to all those different countries. I remember when we went to see "the Lion King" you wore the the coolest outfit (complete with sunglasses and a hat) and you were talking about your literature. And that book "a house on mango street" that you hated so much! I'll always remember that. And how you would braid my hair and comment on my highlights...and always talk about how thick my hair was and how I would one day be a lot taller than you. I've always looked up to you and I still do. I love you so much! You're such a big part of my life and I will always remember everything about you. You've changed my life. I love you.
Love,
Clara
I struggle to understand what I cannot believe, to believe what I cannot understand.
I feel such extreme pleasure and delight with all the fond memories of Jesse growing up next door to me and Jan, being little and exploring her growing world which came to include Lyle and Clara. Jesse, you were a treasure to them, and all of us that is indescribable.
I feel the glow from the energy that you were, like a condensed beam of pure golden springtime sun with honey on it.
I feel such extreme sadness and loss that you will no longer share that energy with the world.
The hole in all our lives is so big.
Hello,
My name is Dzigbodi Djugba and I went to St Mary's High with Jesse. My foundest memory of her was when we were in the Musical Sweet Charity, and it was the 2nd nite of the performance and Jesse couldn't find her biker shorts and she started to cry. Feeling horror I offered my shorts to her knowing that she needed it more than me.
After the show had ended Jesse later discovered that she found her shorts but lost mine. :0) Which I was fine with, it was no big deal to me. But during the summer I recevied a card from her with $40.00 dollars in it. And it read: Thank you so much for letting me borrow your shorts, I am so sorry that I lost them, I hope that this is enough to get you some new ones, Your spoiled Brat Jesse.:0)
I had immediatly called Jesse and exclaimed that it was not neceesary to pay me so much for the shorts that literally cost like $6.00. But she insisted that I keep it for she felt horrible for losing it. Everytime I think of Jesse I always thought about that moment.Because she was not spoiled, but gracious, and that something I will always carry in my heart when I think of her. She will be missed. My heart goes out to all her family and friends. God Bless her and you all.
My darling Chocolate Eyes, (remember I gave you that name?). You were like a second daughter to me and I will never stop loving you. Why oh why didn't you call me so that we could have one of our "tough love" talks? You shared so much with me and I was honored that you trusted me with your deepest thoughts. I wanted you to love yourself as much as we all did. Remember when you used to call me for rides to St. Marys because you always said you were going to "weasel out" of taking the bus? We named them "weasel rides! I will never look at a weasel again the same way! I can hear your wonderful laughter now as you read this from your heavenly garden. If you could have only used the eyes and hearts of your family and friends to see yourself. You will always be my bright and shining star. I have been talking to you everyday. My heart is broken. Love, Aunty Pauline
Precious Jesse, I wish I could tell you about the kindness I saw
in you and how much I appreciated
it. It was always in your eyes, your beautiful smile and your fluid
movements. I always looked so forward to your arrival at family
gatherings..yes, you definitely had
tremendous style and so much more.
How I admired you and praised your
courage and confidence to explore the world so fearlessly. I bragged
to anyone who would listen about my
fabulous niece. I love you Jesse,
forever and always. Along with all
of the broken hearts; add mine too.
Auntie Joyce
The emptiness I have even 10 million tears can't fill.
I began to understand her uniqueness on that foggy July 28, 1981.
I held her for so many years and knew what every movement, every gesture, every mood meant. Her smile was my golden path. Her dreams guided my heart and even her anger rested calmly on my soul. She knew that I knew her so well,
We still talk every day and she wants all to know that she loves them and will protect them and that she is filled with peace and calm and happiness.
My love for her is endless and even today she can make me smile.
dad
I Jesse, I am Kristy, your mom's cousin David's daughter. I'm not sure if you remember me, but I was there for all of your graduations. My sister and I would love going into your room and just looking around and pretending we were in India. It makes me so sad that I wasn't close to you, and I envy everyone who has had a chance to spend time with you and share wonderful memories. I know we would have gotten along so well, I love to go thrift store shopping and I love having unusual fashion just like you. You are so beautiful and would always talk to me when I didn't know many people at your gatherings. The few times I visited your house I would wish that my room was like yours and I had explored the world as you did, and all of your achievements inspired me so much. In fact, I have already been to England and France, and next year I plan to go to Italy, Prog, and Switzerland. I just wanted you to know that even though you have left, you aren't gone and still have an impact on so many lives. I hope that you are receiving all the happiness you deserve wherever you are know.
I just wish that I had known you better.
Love,
Kristy
wow, this came as a shock to me, even though i never got to know you well enough...this is kerry, kathy's daughter. i remember you from the parties, where you showed us your pretty indian room. as i said, i never got the chance to get to know you, but i am still very sad at this...you were such a cool, pretty girl, and you will be missed a lot <3
love, kerry~
Jesse, I am sad to say that I wasn't as close to you as I wish I was, but you are the kind of person that someone could see 3 or 4 times a year, and still feel like they know you. Your energy and personality were so strong; I remember you always took up all the space in the room. I remember going downstairs and seeing all of your awards and achievements and being in awe at how a person could accomplish all that you did. I remember at one of your graduation parties you were wearing these stellar orange pumps with a pretty white dress and you just looked stunning. I wish we would have seen eachother more often, because I think we would have been good friends. I, too, love and wear big sunglasses and vintage clothing. You will be missed terribly, but I know that you have made many lasting impressions and will always be there as someone to look up to.
love, your cousin Jenny
Jesse, when I say I feel like a part of me is gone, I truly feel as though something is missing. In my heart, and my stomach and in my head and everywhere. I can't make it through an entire day without crying. The way the world looks is different-- everything seems fuzzy and gray. There is a hole in my heart and a hole in my life without you.
I have felt connected to you forever. You were a big sister and a good friend to me. I felt so honored at the way you could open yourself up to me, even though we had an 7 year age difference, you made it seem like none. You made me feel equal to you.
I want to hug you again, and smell your clothes and your bedroom. I want to play with your hair, and try on your clothes that you accidentally shrink in the washing machine. I want to talk to you, and let you know how much I love you and how much I have always looked up to you, and respected you, and tried so hard to have a single ounce of your amazing spirit.
You made me feel unique, and you made me feel loved. You never failed everytime I saw you to remind me how you loved me, and how I could always talk to you about anything. I hope that you knew how I felt about you. That you were everything I have always wanted to be. The way you lived your life with such genorosity, beauty, kindness, humor and openness.
There is no other like Jesse. I want to see her long hands and fingernails, and be able to hear her bubbling laughter, and bright never ending smile. Her 23 years had enough love and joy that some could hope to have in a lifetime.
i miss you.
Jesse,
Your beautiful face has been flashing infront of me all this week. I can see your eyes open wide for that split second just before you smile. You know that you gave us all the chicken pox...I was 14 at the time. We were at Gram's in the back corral, and you lifted up your shirt and had spots all over your tummy. Ayrnn and Jenny caught them a couple days later, and then me. Thank you for that. ;-)
Your poise and grace, and awesome style, were so admired by me. You've traveled the world and experienced so much in your 23 years. You had guts girl. I'm going to miss you so much...
SUCCESS:
To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden path or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Spread your wings Jesse.
My love always.
Anne
Ed, thank you for the beautiful image of Jesse loving and protecting us, and full of peace.
And to my wonderfully strong and beautiful sister Judith, I want to share a thought I had.
In Spanish, one way to say "to give birth" is "dar la luz", which literally means "to give light". Jesse is a shining light for all of us.
I'm grateful for the gift of having experienced her light.
My dear cousin Jesse...I still remember the day you were born. I was six and a half and Mom came up to tell me about my new cousin while I was taking my bath. Little did I know then how much of a wonderful little sister you would become to me. I have so many vivid memories from our early years. Playing with all of your barbie dolls in the suitcase in the back room of the old house on Pomona (how many you had!). Babysitting you during the summer and playing "store" or "bank" for hours and then walking to Toot Sweets for something yummy! I had as much fun as you did. I remember when you would come spend the night as a little girl and get so homesick you would cry and cry. Mom would comfort you until you fell asleep and then later I would come to bed and sleep next to you. Remember the time Mom and Uncle Ed took us the see that Chanticleer concert at St Ignacias church? You got the hiccups and then we started to laugh. Mom was shooting us the "evil eye" and then we all started laughing so hard we were shaking! You spent the night with me before my wedding and brought me breakfast to the room the next morning and helped to ease my jitters. The worst snow storm in recent Chicago history and you were here for it. More laughing ensued as we braved the blizzard and could barely stand or walk but went to the Art Institute anyway. All of these wonderful memories that I know you shared too, as my little sister and cousin. I will treasure them always.
You always made my holidays with our family warm and bright. I loved to live vicariously through you and your adventures as my life turned into one with very adult responsibilities. The last time I saw you was the night you ended your job and you were my typical Jesse, looking so stylish and sparkling with the idea of a new adventure. We had such a nice dinner and nice conversation. I hope, I hope, I hope you know how I love you. I promis to tell Tucker about his wonderful Godmother and Aunt Jesse so that he may know a little piece of you. This week has been one of the most difficult of my life as I struggle to come to terms with the fact that you will no longer be in my life, I know you will forever be in my heart.
All my love,
Jenny
It's hard to put into words the way I feel about Jesse. She was like a little sister to me. I remeber meeting her when she was still in High School and getting ready for college. As if I knew more about life or something, I remember giving her advice on college and such. We watched her grow and mature and experience life, catching up when we could to hear about her latest endeavors. I remeber her visiting us in Chicago and hearing stories about her travels. She always seemed so excited to be where she was. Always a little nervous about her next adventure but not afraid. I admired her desire and willingness to help others. It's something that a lot of us pay lip service to, but Jesse lived it. She put her comforts second to the plight of the needy..truly a saint. I think about all of the things she had experienced at such a young age and it reminds me that Jesse was not ordinary. Always wanting to go someplace she'd never been before..or help someone she barely knew. Jesse was and will forever be a person that I look up to. Someone that we will always remember and one who will be with us forever. I will always remember her big smile and contageous laugh. We all have been blessed to know Jesse.
Forever in our hearts,
Jeff
That was a wonderful experience today at Andalu remembering Jesse with tears and laughter. It was so nice seeing people that I hadn't seen in years. Several people asked me to write down the words I said today....
I want to say something to my children, to all of Jesse's cousins and to all of her friends.
No matter how lost you may feel at times in your life, no matter how sad or alone you are, no matter how dark things look- I want you to think about today.
Look around you now- and remember the people here in this room. They are here because they love Jesse. These are also the people who love you. Any one of them would drive across town or across the country to be with you if you needed someone. Remember-we love you as much as you love Jesse.
Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven.
Love,
Aunt Jan
Jesse, full of Grace, I miss you everyday. Your Aunt Jan said some very important words at your memorial. I have always thought that there are lessons for all of us to learn when someone dies. Sometimes it can be to listen more carefully to the hearts of the people we love. It takes time to realize what other lessons there are, but they will become evident in time. We are all on this earth to help each other and your Aunt Jan was very clear in stating that there is nothing too difficult that can't be discussed and helped with time and love. It is our responsibility to keep your spirit alive and sparkling. Knowing you was one of the lovliest experiences in my life. I will always cherish our times together. When you receive your wings, we will hear the bells ringing. Love, Aunty Pauline
We are saddened to hear of Jesse's passing. We have numerous fond memories working with her in Mr. Calegari’s US History class as well as for long hours and nights in the smaller AP classes of Ms. Caraballo, Mr. Whammond and Mr. Henning. Mary also vividly remembers working along side her during Campus Ministry projects with Mr. Fulay.
Jesse always contributed to the task at hand with zeal, creativity and enthusiasm. We will
forever remember all of ways she in which she strived to make the world a better place by raising the St Mary’s community’s awareness on various issues. Jesse had her own unique way of making academic as well as social conversation come alive with her thoughtful reflections and witty nature. Perhaps it was the artist in her. She was beautiful in so many ways and it was a blessing to have known her.
What we will remember most about Jesse is her courage to speak her convictions. It is this strength of character that makes her an unforgettable part of our St. Mary’s experience. She has left an indelible impression in our minds and her legacy of kindness and compassion will live on in our hearts.
The Class of 1999 will never be the same without Jesse Sanderson Thomas, one of St. Mary’s finest Belles who will be truly missed. She and her family will be in our prayers.
With Love,
Daniel Ong and Mary Fernandez
The service yesterday was beautiful. Ed, I was wondering if you'd be willing to repeat what you said at the end of your speech, about how you felt that Jesse was in a good and safe place? Everything you said was very healing, thank you!
The service yesterday was beautiful. Everything that was said was very healing, thank you!
I've associated Jesse with sunflowers since I went into her bedroom at her graduation party. As with others, my daughter and I were impressed with Jesse's flair and style. The Indian fabric hanging from the ceiling made such an impact on us that soon my daughter's Laura Ashley pink, pink, pink room became a sophicated mix of my daughter's style - reds, gold, and that perennial teen favorite, black. Tashina and I were the ones ohhing and ahhing about Jesse's room when Clara clued us in, Oh, It's not always this clean! When Tashina put The Nag on me to get some netting to hang from her ceiling, she used Jesse's room as the model. When I put The Nag on her to clean her room, she still uses Jesse as the model! I remember the sunflowers most because their beauty and positive energy fit so well with Jesse's personality. I think that most of Judi's friends like myself attribute at least some of Jesse's sense of style to Judi, and Judi, you continue to be the most amazing model for us. All my love, Phyllis
Jesse’s friendship was always important to me—- though sometimes it was towards the periphery of my life and sometimes it was stubbornly and loudly in front and center. We went to Marin Elementary School, Albany Middle School and Saint Mary’s together. We both dearly loved the same Kid’s Club counselor (Russell!). I think Jesse’s house on Pomona was one of the first houses, other than my own, where I truly felt at home. We were both in Uch’s homeroom at AMS (such a big deal). We played volleyball together (Jesse was, really, quite the middle blocker). We spent many late hours in theater rehearsals in high school together, and generally kept each other company during the excruciatingly long years when we were waiting to grow up, get driver’s licenses, jobs, money to travel. We watched a lot of movies and made extravagant plans: apartments abroad, trips cross-country via route 66 or whichever road would take us. Jesse was a planner, a dreamer, full of conviction and opinion. As many people have already noted here, she had an elegance that was utterly and completely her own. At an early age she taught me a great deal about living, arguing, finding my own place in the world and I’ll always be grateful to her for that. Things were always new and exciting with Jesse—- she wouldn’t tolerate anything less. I’m going to miss her so much.
All my love,
Diana
The world is a darker place without Jesse, but I will try very hard to cherish the warmth, joy and beauty she brought into our lives, and not dwell on the "black hole" feeling, as someone else here described it (perfectly). How lucky we were to have passed through the world at the same time she did! How sad that time was not much, much longer. You are sorely missed, dear Jesse.
I had the pleasure, joy of knowing and loving Jesse for over a year only. And only do I wish that I would be able to tell her, face to face, hundreds of times more, that I love her. She welcomed me and my son, Graeme into her life with such sweet warmth and grace. Jesse will ever populate my heart, my memories. I love you Jesse.
I have asked Jesse's mother, Judith to marry me and she has accecpted--Jesse would be very happy.
Jesse, my dearest heart and soul.
How can I love without my heart.
How can I live without my soul.
You are everything to me and mean so much to so many others.
Thank you for sharing the path with us.
The fork you finally took required so much courage. I know now you are at peace.
I miss you so much every minute of every day.
On my annual hike at Sunol, you were there in the warm breeze, the green grass and the budding trees and flowers.
You are with us always. We know you are here watching and protecting the young ones as they grow up:Peter, Graeme, Ben, Oliver, Mariana, Joseph and Tucker.We know you will be with us at every celebration and family event that marks our lives.
Jesse, you are so loved. I know you know this.
Once again from your book, The Prophet:
Farewell to you and the youth I have spent with you.
It was but yesterday we met in a dream.
You have sung to me in my aloneness, and I of your longings have built a tower in the sky.
But now our sleep has fled and our dream is over, and it is no longer dawn.
The noontide is upon us and our half waking has turned to fuller day, and we must part.
If in the twilight of memory we should meet once more, we shall speak again together and you shall sing to me a deeper song.
And if our hands should meet in another dream we shall build another tower in the sky.
With infinite love for you always,
Mom
Here is a poem from my wonderful neighbor Sherry:
A Native American Prayer
Do not stand at my grave and weep--
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousands winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush,
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there. I do not sleep.
o.k. jess
you told me about the house on the hill and I've only met you since last Aug. Our clients keep talking about you. I saved your cell number. Jess what I liked about you was that you came in late and stayed late. 10 am was early and six pm was early. Jess you wanted something more (that house on the hill) I will make sure it comes true! I remember the location! David Drzymkowski
I met Jesse when I was 12 years old. She and my sister were friends at St. Mary's and she came over one day after school, looked at me, and within 5 mintues had convinced me that I was the most amazing person and that I didn't need to take shit from anyone. I was a scared, young girl lacking self-esteem and Jesse made me feel like a billion bucks. She told me I didn't need to play to others, only be myself and others would see what she did. She and my sister's 4 other closest friends became my big sisters since none of them had any little sisters of their own. I watched them mature, graduate from high school, and go off to college. They taught me about beauty and friendship, strength and courage. That group, my family, will never be the same without her, my Jezerella. I'll always remember the way she'd call me Phabella with such an Italian accent. Such style, such grace, such beauty wrapped up in one woman. I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the service. I'm sorry I couldn't support my sister better through all of this, all of my sisters. The Mission and that cheap Mexican place on the corner with great margaritas will always remind me of you. That, and big 80's style earrings. My sister loved you more than I think you'll ever know, we all did. Your eyes still smile at me in my head daily. I miss you and pray that your heart has found its peace.
Hey Jesse,
I had to share this. I had just gotten off from work today, and as I was driving through the maze on the I80 freeway today, my thoughts drifted and you fell into the forefront of my mind. I could feel my heart trying to escape out of my throat, and I was pushing it down again, with thoughts of you being in a better place. Then something wild happened. This blue minivan pulled infront of me, and my focus was diverted to the license plate. It read JESSEVN. I squinted my fuzzy eyes to make sure that I was really seeing this. And indeed I was. Wowzers..I just smiled the rest of the way home. Thanks Jesse.
Love you.
Anne
My Uncle Bud from Burbank was a kind hearted, witty, intelligent soul - a voracious reader who surrounded himself with good books. I enjoyed my visits with him. When Uncle Bud was 82, he asked if when he passed, I would take care of his matters, and I agreed. It was only when that day came that I began to sort through his things and realize that this lovely man lived in such isolation. He evidently had few, if any, friends and apparently had regular contact with only a few family members. When I thought about Bud's passing, I grieved even more than the fact that he was gone, the fact that so few people got to enjoy him while he was here. It was as though he'd sung a beautiful aria in the middle of the ocean where no one could hear him. I walked away from Bud's passing with such sadness over that fact, and feeling strongly that part of the import of life is the sharing of our songs, our love and our thoughts with others and receiving those gifts in return.
When I think about Jesse and the huge circle of family, friends and loved ones that she touched, I see that in 23 short years, she accomplished something that my Uncle Bud was never able to do - she sang her beautiful aria in our midst, touched those around her often, lived passionately and made lovely ripples in life's pond.
I will miss Jesse and my heart goes out to Judith and Ed and all of the Sandersons and Thomases and friends who enjoyed Jesse's gifts regularly. - Despite that sadness, I am happy that Jesse succeeded in doing something that many who live much longer are never able to do. Her gifts which she so freely shared remain in the hearts of those she touched.
My love to you all,
Mary
A month has passed. A lifetime of memories an eternity of sadness and finally a smile of gratitude to all. I have read all of the cards, e-mails, blogs, notes, and listened to words so deeply felt that I now know even more so that my dear Jesse was indeed a remarkable person. In the end, the world was just too small for her fire and passion.
I want to thank everyone for touching me in so many ways. Your words have stirred my soul and calmed my heart.
Jesse, you have taught me many things but I never imagined you would have taught me what I now feel.
Dearest Jesse,
I thought that I could make it through this yet everyday seems more surreal than the first when I received the news that you were gone. How empty the days are and how long I wished I would've reconnected with you. The thought of you passed through my mind so many times and I wonder had I made the effort to reach out to you that maybe some way some how you'd still be here. Smiling for us, dancing for us, stylin and profilin like only you knew how to do. That belonged to you. Grace belonged to you, passion was yours and no one can ever replace that. I wish so bad that I had a phone number to reach you and when I tried to leave you an e-mail it was returned to me undeliverable and I admit that I gave up. But I want you to know that you impacted me and by reading what others had to say about you your impact was so great on all of us. It seems so unfair and yet so right. How selfish I fell because your life's journey belonged to you and who am I to try and stop what life had planned for you. Missing you seems so selfish at times yet I know how natural that feels. Nothing held you back I thought of you and felt so under-accomplished. Like I knew I could be doing more and to think that life sells us short. But no it doesn't. You are where you are meant to be but then I think what is destiny? It was meant for us to experience the things that we did and I think that my thoughts of you will always be infinite and I still don't have closure and I never will. Everything happens for a reason and it never ends. It's with happiness, joy, and love that I will always place you in my heart, my memory and live knowing that you are here to guide me. You have transitioned on to another realm, you have transcended time and no matter what lies ahead for me I know that my friend lives on...
Blessings to Jesse's parents, family, and friends
"As long as I kept moving, my grief streamed out behind me like a swimmer's long hair in water. I knew the weight was there but it didn't touch me. Only when I stopped did the slick, dark stuff of it come floating around my face, catching my arms and throat. So I just didn't stop. The substance of grief is not imaginary. It's as real as rope or the absence of air...
Listen. To live is to be marked. To live is to change, to acquire the words of a story, and that is the only celebration we mortals really know."
-The Poisonwood Bible
I found this quote in a book Jesse lent us a few years ago.
The Peace of Wild Things
by Wendell Berry
When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
though the roads we are on may not cross again, I will not forget you.
you may fade from my sight but not from my view, no i will not forget you.
tomorrow may fade from my memory but I will not forget you.
you are in all of us now.
Jesse,
It has taken me a while to write what I have to say. I am still in shock and confused by you leaving this earth. I regret that I didn't keep in touch with you after highschool, but know that you always were in my heart.
I wish I could have found the courage to express how much you meant to my life. You were my secret angel. My first friend in at Saint Mary's and the one person that gave me the courage to be myself. You helped me to realize that I was loved and that I didn't need to be anyone else. It is because of your kindness and your acceptance that I was able to find my voice. You taught me that I was a good person and that I was worthy of love. You helped me to see the beauty in the world and your confidence and elegance will live on forever.
You are a true treasure and I thank-you for being in my life.
It's Christmas Eve in Santa Cruz and all week I have been feeling the weight of being reminded that it was a year ago Christmas that I last saw you, Jesse. It feels as though I just saw you. So many times I go over that day in my mind and think of all the things I wish I had said to you, or all the hugs I wished I had given you. But who could have known I wouldn't have another chance?
"It's a Wonderful Life" is playing on TV tonight. George's guardian angel, Clarence, shows him what his world would be like if he had never existed. I wish you had had a guardian angel to show you how it is for us here without you. It's still a beautiful world, and a wonderful life, full of surprises and small treasures. But for all of us who love you, it's missing something truly dear--you.
Merry Christmas, Jesse. We'll all be thinking of you, and listening for bells ringing.
With all my love,
Auntie Karen
It’s been a year without Jesse. A year of birthdays, holidays, pool days, camping trips. A year of ordinary days. I wish I could say it’s getting easier to get through a day without sadness or tears. Will it ever?
One gray day, I was feeling sorry for myself because I was so sad missing Jesse. Out of nowhere tears started shooting straight out my eyes just like Jesse’s used to when she was little. We used to laugh at how hard Jesse could shed tears. The thought made me smile and suddenly the sky exploded with heavy, heavy rain. It poured and hailed so hard for so long. Tree branches exploded and crashed to the ground. The weather was so outrageously loud and wet and shocking that I started laughing. I knew it was Jesse just telling me to knock it off. I felt Jesse right there. I could hear her laughing clearly: Enough with the tears! As suddenly as the downpour started, it stopped. What followed was as beautiful and peaceful as the storm had been wild. The sun came out and millions of tiny rainbows glittered through every drop hanging in the trees.
That was ten months ago and I think about it every day.
Today I lit a candle that will burn for 24 hours, and each time I see it, I remember Jesse's light, shining right out of her onto all of us.
We went for a walk today, through the wet and green redwoods, in the Land of the Medicine Buddha. The kids left roses, and Lyle dropped rose petals here and there. I left a note and some pictures of Jesse. There were little offerings here and there, some very odd and mysterious. We tried to imagine why someone would put them there. Wouldn't Jesse have laughed at the plastic egg with the gummi worm inside?
Jesse may be indeed telling us "enough tears!" And I also know that she understands why the tears just pop out without warning. Her absence hits suddenly, and we just can't help it. She would be crying too...
"If I could be there
I'd look in your eyes
And say 'I love you'.
Tomorrow I'd wake up
With joy for the day, joy for the day.
If God would grant me wings to fly,
I'd be in your arms by and by.
If I could be there, I wouldn't have
This pain in my heart.
If I could be there..."
Many things have happened in the last two years since March 4, 2005, but there is one thing that hasn't changed. How much everyone misses you, Jesse. Today I was in Yosemite and I thought of you in the soaring birds and the huge waterfalls. Maybe you're somewhere big and beautiful like that, making a lasting impression as always. I hope so.
Love, Elena
There is not a single day or, some days, even a single hour that passes without you in my thoughts, Jesse. There are times when I feel you close by. I knew you were there when Elena played her guitar at the club. Any time I hear or see anything outrageous, surprising or hilariously funny I can hear your wonderful laughter.
We still cry and we always will but we will never, ever forget the beautiful and unique person that is our Jesse.
As long as we remember, you will always be with us.
Dear Jesse,
This Sunday, March 4, 2007, will be the end of a second year without you. I have been preparing for quite a while to run the Napa Valley Marathon on that day.I am dedicating this whole run to you, but especially the last 1.2 miles.
The run will be on the beautiful Silverado Trail between Calistoga and Napa. There will be cool temperatures, beautiful blooming trees and plants, glorious clouds, and maybe even rain. I will see you everywhere. I will hear you laughing at the idea of me even choosing to run this far! And I will feel you in me as I search for the strength to finish the run.
I miss you Jesse. At mile 25, I will call out your name, and think about all that you mean to me and to your other family and friends. And as I cross the finish line, I will send you all my love.
Love,
Auntie Karen
I miss you as much today as I did three years ago.
I will light a candle for you tonight.
Love,
Auntie Jan
Thinking of Judi.
Thinking of Ed.
Thinking of all of us.
Thinking of you, Jesse, every day.
Love,
Auntie Jan
Every year on this day I try to do something in nature because I feel that nature is a visual connection to the spiritual world. Today I went for a run in the forest and there were enormous clouds and winds. There was rain and then sun. And flowers everywhere. I saw and felt Jesse by my side the entire time.
We are nearing the fifth anniversary of your death, Jesse. I want you to know that I still love you and think about you often. It doesn't hurt as much as it used to. Minutes between tears became hours, then days, weeks, months, and eventually, a whole year might pass before I would cry for you.
But you are still with me always, tears or no. And, sometimes, it still feels as fresh of a wound as the day I learned that you left us.
I am comforted to know that I will never forget you.
-rachel
Not a day goes by...
Aunt Jan
Still missing you
Thinking of Jesse every day. Miss her.
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I left you a little dragonfly note in the Land of the Medicine Buddha. There was a beautiful stillness in the Enchanted Forest. Missing you always, Jess. -Auntie Karen
Thinking of you, Jesse... <3
Every once in a while I have a dream about you, Jess. I had one a few weeks ago that was incredibly vivid. You were alive, you had just been hiding somewhere and didn't let anyone know. I was so angry at you in that dream. I cried and asked you why you would do such a thing. You couldn't answer me. The anger faded into sadness and relief, knowing you were still with us. I woke up heartbroken.
I will never know why you did what you did, Jesse. I have forgiven you but there will always be a part of me that is aching for you. I know you are still with me somehow, comforting me, trying to tell me you're ok where you are. I miss you so incredibly much.
I'm listening to your music, looking at your pictures, and lighting a candle for you. I can't believe it's been seven years. Miss you as much as ever.
On a whim I came to this blog as I listened to my Jesse playlist. "Sweet Haven of Mercy" is playing: "I can hear the angels singing, and I feel nearer my god to thee, as I watch the sun sinking..."
When I woke up this morning and saw your picture, tears came suddenly and unexpectedly. Just as quickly they were gone and a beautiful morning started, with sunshine and the sound of Elena and Olivia laughing. Elena is now 23, the age you were when we lost you. She has missed having you in her life these last 7 years. I know she'd love to tell you about it.
I wish you were hear to feel the sun on your face and share in the laughter with us. I miss you so, Jess.
Love, Auntie Karen
You are still so alive in my memory. I think of you each and every day. For such a young woman, you had such a big personality that will never be forgotten. Love you always.
Aunt Jan
Hey Jess,
We felt you at Granddad's memorial. We all hope he really did see you. We still miss you as much as ever.
Love always,
AK
The years go by but you are always here with us. We love you and miss you so much every day.
Auntie Jan
The tears still come for you on these anniversary dates. I light a candle and remember you with so much love.
Auntie Karen
Has it really been 9 years? Feels like yesterday. Miss you still. Sometimes I wonder what sorts of fabulous things you'd be doing with your life now. So sad to have missed so many moments that could have been. Love you <3
Ten years of missing you every day. Love you.
I left you a heart earring in the Land of the Medicine Buddha. It was missing its pair. And we are still missing you. Always.
I was thinking of you when a hummingbird flew right up to my face, chirped for several seconds, then flew away. I had to laugh out loud. Love you. Love you.
Has it really been 15 years without you? I think of you every day. Every day.
This song popped into my head today while I was thinking of you Jesse: "The moment I wake up/Before I put on my makeup/I say a little prayer for you. And while I'm combing my hair now/And wondering what dress to wear now/I say a little prayer for you./Forever and ever, you'll stay in my heart..."
Ok, so maybe not so much make up and certainly not a dress these days...but I do say a little prayer for you, and forever and ever you'll stay in our hearts.
I love you Jess,
AK
I felt your presence today. Miss you so much.
Love love love
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